today's realization:

Being in a situation where everything is so fresh, I know that from time to time I will be upset. I will cry like there's no tomorrow but I will try my very best to not grieve so much because it was over.

I am excited to see what God has in store for me

Today, I've decided that as early as now I should start opening my eyes, my heart, and my mind to the new things that are and will be coming my way. And plus, this is not the only thing that can make me happy and definitely not the only thing that can complete me, right?

In all honesty, yes I am scared. I fear that I won't be able to go on with my life without this person. I fear that I wouldn't be as happy or as complete without him by my side. That I will be alone forever or I wouldn't be able to find somebody who will love and treat me the way he did. 

Pero sabi nga ng friend ko, "Life is all about taking risks, taking chances, and letting things happen unexpectedly. Sometimes if you plan, yun pa yung hindi natutupad. Life is full of surprises..." 

TAMA, diba?!

I know that I am stronger than this, that I am better. And, that is why I decided that I am going to accept God's will no matter how hard or how long it takes. I know that He won't abandon me just like that. I know that He has a greater plan for me and this is just a part of His challenges that I need to go through so that in the future I can handle this way better than I did before. Or even, I wouldn't have to go through all these at all.

I have no regrets. I loved him with all my heart and I guess I will always do. He wasn't only just a boyfriend... he was my best friend. Despite the distance, he was always there for me. He was able to inspire me, guide me, teach me, remind me, and made me become the person i am now. If given a chance that our paths will meet again, and the feelings are still there, then maybe. I guess by that time it is God's will na that we are for each other talaga. 

But as for now, I am going to focus with myself, my career, my relationship with my family, friends, and God.

Anyway, I found this poem online and I thought that I should share it. :)

SET MYSELF FREE  

A sigh but not flowing with relief

A mind thats in its height of disbelief  

Clouded thoughts that love to be lost 

Lost in a bitter sweet defeat 

Like a charm that cannot be broken 

Or a lock for that there can be no key 

These feelings are overtaking 

My body and mind in a constant aching 

Waiting for someone or something to impact  

A calm salvation that will leave my soul intact 

A shake, a kick, a heavy hand 

Anything to release me from this quicksand 

Alas, nothing comes, no life changing act 

When will this story have an impact? 

Life is what you make it I hear everyone say 

But the route of the cause seems so adament to stay    

For it seems that I am the only one to set myself free 

One step at a time, it's a new beginning for me